I was shocked when I found the picture on the left in my archives. I thought to myself: “did I really look like that 10 years ago? ” My tummy is the most sensitive topic here. As I revealed it before, I underwent a heavy surgery 3 years ago to remove 12 fibroids. Prior to the surgery I had to be placed under artificial menopause to help shrink the fibroids and prepare my body for the surgery, back in December 2014. I had to receive several painful injections and that process was a bit difficult, but I had the best support system around me: my husband. The hardest part of the treatment, were the multiple side effects. I had hot flashes, mood swings, my period stop for several months and I simply didn’t really feel like myself at all. I remember at the time, I was working out like crazy hoping to loose weight and shrink the fibroids naturally. But in reality I looked like I was 6 months pregnant, I had horrible pelvic cramps and having sexual intercourse was extremely painful.
That same year marked my professional modeling debuts for the ” Couture for Everybody Campaign ” for Pinup Girl Clothing (shot by Holly West) and you can’t tell at all what I was going through when you look at the picture below.
I have always been able to hide or utilize my emotions as I perform in front of the camera or for an audience. And that’s exactly what I did on set that day (September 4th, 2014), I delivered and ignored the pain I was in both emotionally and physically. It was my dream to model for that brand, so I made sure to kick ass and let my light shine through.
What truly affected me, post surgery was the fact that I had to get a contraceptive implant a month after getting my fibroids removed. It was supposed to help regulate, but I didn’t tolerate the implant and ended up gaining another size. I also suffered never ending period each month and my breasts grew even bigger. On July 5th, 2017, I decided to remove the implant because I had enough. 3 years of non-stop treatments , a heavy surgery and my body was changed forever. I am currently between a size 12/14 and I feel stronger than ever. I have been taking on spin lessons at Sunset Bike House for over a year now and I have seen drastic changes in my body. I will discuss my spin journey in another post, as I strongly believe that exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial, no matter what size you are. I know that I am still working through the process of being healthier, but I also know that I am no longer that girl on the left and that’s ok. I am sharing all of this with you to show you that you should love your body no matter what size you are. The funny thing is that I have way more confidence today than I ever did over a decade ago. I credit becoming a body positive lingerie model for that transformation and I feel grateful everyday to be able to share that with you.
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